I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
