this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize