Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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