is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize