I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize