I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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