I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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