i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
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