after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
