I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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