I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
