I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
