Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We are two peas in an std pod
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
