office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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