I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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