you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
