therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
