There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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