Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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