She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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