Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
