Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
