This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
