No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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