me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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