Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
