I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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