Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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