then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
