Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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