So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
