miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
