ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
