i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
