i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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