Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
