I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize