new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
