i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
