I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I supernannyed him into submission
Lo siento on account of my penis...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
