I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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