just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
