Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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