when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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