I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
