His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
