I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My ATM looks so different sober.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
