Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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