Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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