at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
