just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
