We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize