three words: i give head
three words: not that well
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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