I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
