Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
