Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
