i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
