you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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