brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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