Kiss
Puke
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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