is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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