Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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