what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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