At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just gift wrapped bread.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize