elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
