the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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