No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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