so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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