I will die if light touches me.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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