My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
